Balance??

At Camp Caraway they have a ropes course off in the woods. This course helps build team togetherness, helping teenage boys learn to work together to accomplish goals. I remember one specific balancing bridge that was pretty difficult. The way this bridge works is this: it is basically a raft on air attached by a central axis point. I think the axis runs the length of the raft at the center. The goal is for all the boys on the team to stand on the raft at the same time without it touching the ground. It's a challenge because the boys have to distribute their weight evenly, moving forward or backwards to accomplish this. It's pretty complicated, but they enjoy the challenge.

That's sort of the trick that I'm learning here in Senegal. I tell you, some days this life is simply not for me. I love working with my hands and feet. I love giving of myself to others. And I love my family and friends. These are all things that I gave up in order to come here. Being here for close to a year now I'm starting to see how I miss those things by the feelings I go through on particular days. Some days I'm lonely. Some days I'm bored to death. And other days I'm not sure what I am. But having thought about why I struggle in balancing things here, this has been my conclusion. It is apparent to me that I have yet to learn how to give God these things in my life. I'm open to suggestions!

Typically what I find that works for me is that if I make myself go out and visit with people, the self worry and doubt go away. Maybe not completely, but the visits do help. Today I went to a carpenter friend and got to help build these bread boxes for 3 hours. That's a love of mine and I truly enjoyed doing that. I'll have to see if I can maybe help him a few days a week now and begin a close relationship with him.

But please continue to pray for me and balance. I do want to make a difference here, and I want this to be a successful 3 year journey for me. After 3 years who knows where God will have me. I want to be able to give him my all while I am here, and I want him to mold me to be the man he has in mind for me to be.